The short explanation
Withdrawal, missing work, sleeping a lot and irritability can be signs of depression, and many men find it hard to accept help because of stigma or pride. You cannot force him, but you can make it easier for him to take the first step. Choose a calm moment, say what you have noticed without blame, and say you are worried because you care. Focusing on physical symptoms, such as tiredness or sleep, can feel less threatening than talking about mental health. Offering to book the appointment and go with him can help. A general physician is often an easier first step than a psychiatrist.
What depends on your situation
The parts of this that change from woman to woman. Uncertainty is stated, not hidden.
- Drinking more, money troubles, job stress, or a recent loss can sit behind these changes. Physical problems like thyroid conditions or sleep apnoea can also cause tiredness and low mood.
- Look after yourself as well. Living with someone who is depressed and angry is stressful, and you can speak to a counsellor or helpline for guidance.
- If anger turns into threats or violence, your safety comes first, and the women's helpline 181 can help.
What this answer cannot determine
The boundary of online education. These need a clinician who can see you.
- This answer cannot tell whether your husband is depressed or has another problem. A doctor who sees him can judge that.
Questions for your clinician
Take these with you. You can add any of them to an appointment card.
- How can I raise this with him so he does not feel attacked?
- Could his symptoms have a physical cause?
- Can I talk to a doctor or counsellor on my own for guidance?
- What signs mean we should not wait?
When to seek help
Clinician-approved guidance for this topic. When in doubt, being seen is never the wrong choice.
Emergency — call 112 now
- Call 112 if he talks about ending his life, has harmed himself, or becomes violent towards you or others.
Book an appointment soon
- Encourage him to see a doctor within a few days if he has stopped working or eating, and call Tele-MANAS on 14416 yourself for advice on how to approach him.
Raise it at a routine appointment
- Book a routine appointment for him with a general physician, and offer to go along.
Sources
The evidence this explanation is built on.
- Depression MedlinePlus (NIH)
- Depression in adults NHS
- Mental health MedlinePlus (NIH)
Who wrote and reviewed this
Every AskHer answer names its author. A clinically reviewed answer also names the clinician who signed it off — if no clinician is named below, it has not been clinically reviewed.
- Author
- AskHer Editorial (AI-assisted draft) AskHer's editorial team — not an individual clinician Works in English, தமிழ், हिन्दी
- Clinical reviewer
- Nobody yet No clinician has signed this answer off, and no person on the editorial team has read it yet. That is what the “Written with AI assistance” label means. It is queued for an editor to read, and then for a clinician who works in this area. The sources it was drafted against are listed above.
- Review status
- Written with AI assistance — not yet reviewed by a person
- Last reviewed
- Not yet reviewed by a person
- Version
- 1
Correction history
Substantive changes are listed, not quietly edited away.
No corrections have been made since this answer was first published.
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