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We agreed to use condoms but twice my partner removed it during sex without telling me. I feel cheated and scared about pregnancy. What should I do?

An AskHer answer: what is known, what depends on you, and what only a clinician can decide.

Nobody asked this one. AskHer’s editorial team wrote the question to open the topic. It is not anyone’s submission, and nobody’s own words are in it.

Written with AI assistance — not yet reviewed by a person Version 1 · Not yet reviewed by a person · English

The short explanation

What your partner did is a serious breach of trust and consent. Removing a condom without your agreement, sometimes called stealthing, is not acceptable, and many people consider it a form of sexual violence. Your feelings of being cheated and scared are completely valid. For your health right now, consider emergency contraception if the most recent time was within the last few days, and STI testing. A copper IUD can work as emergency contraception up to about five days and then protect you ongoing. Going forward, a method you control, such as an implant or IUD, may give you more security, along with condoms for infection protection if you choose to continue the relationship.

What depends on your situation

The parts of this that change from woman to woman. Uncertainty is stated, not hidden.

  • Talking to a counsellor or trusted person can help you decide what to do about the relationship.
  • If you want to report it, you can seek advice from support services.
  • A pregnancy test about three weeks after the sex is recommended.
  • STI tests are usually done about two weeks after, with some blood tests repeated later.

What this answer cannot determine

The boundary of online education. These need a clinician who can see you.

  • This answer cannot tell your pregnancy or infection risk. A doctor can advise on emergency contraception and testing.

Questions for your clinician

Take these with you. You can add any of them to an appointment card.

  1. Do I need emergency contraception now?
  2. Which STI tests should I have, and when?
  3. Which method can I control myself?
  4. Where can I get support about what happened?

When to seek help

Clinician-approved guidance for this topic. When in doubt, being seen is never the wrong choice.

Emergency — call 112 now

  • Call 112 if you feel unsafe or are being harmed.

Get help the same day

  • Get emergency contraception the same day if the most recent time was within the last few days.

Book an appointment soon

  • Book STI testing about two weeks after the sex.

Raise it at a routine appointment

  • Book a routine appointment to discuss a contraceptive method you control.

Sources

The evidence this explanation is built on.

  1. Emergency contraception NHS
  2. Condoms NHS
  3. Contraception NHS

Who wrote and reviewed this

Every AskHer answer names its author. A clinically reviewed answer also names the clinician who signed it off — if no clinician is named below, it has not been clinically reviewed.

Author
AskHer Editorial (AI-assisted draft) AskHer's editorial team — not an individual clinician Works in English, தமிழ், हिन्दी
Clinical reviewer
Nobody yet No clinician has signed this answer off, and no person on the editorial team has read it yet. That is what the “Written with AI assistance” label means. It is queued for an editor to read, and then for a clinician who works in this area. The sources it was drafted against are listed above.
Review status
Written with AI assistance — not yet reviewed by a person
Last reviewed
Not yet reviewed by a person
Version
1

Correction history

Substantive changes are listed, not quietly edited away.

No corrections have been made since this answer was first published.

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