The short explanation
Pain during sex is common, it has causes that can be identified, and it is not something you have to accept. Broadly, pain felt at the entrance points towards things like dryness, infection, skin conditions or the involuntary muscle tightening called vaginismus; pain felt deeper points towards conditions such as endometriosis, fibroids or pelvic infection.
What depends on your situation
The parts of this that change from woman to woman. Uncertainty is stated, not hidden.
- Where it hurts is the most useful thing you can describe, and the second most useful is whether it has always been this way or started at some point. Those two answers narrow the possibilities more than anything else.
- Dryness is a common and treatable cause and is not only a menopause issue — it also occurs with some contraceptives, with breastfeeding, with some medicines, and simply with not being aroused, which is physiology rather than a verdict on anyone.
- Vaginismus is the pelvic floor tightening involuntarily. It is not imagined, it is not something you are doing on purpose, and it responds to treatment — often physiotherapy and a graded approach rather than medication.
- Deep pain that is worse around your period, or that comes with heavy or painful periods, raises the possibility of endometriosis or adenomyosis, which are often missed for years.
- Pain that started after childbirth, after surgery, or after an infection has a timeline attached to it, and saying so changes the assessment.
- Sex that hurts because it is unwanted is a different problem and deserves its own support. If that is what is happening, you can say so to a clinician, and Tele-MANAS on 14416 is free at any hour.
What this answer cannot determine
The boundary of online education. These need a clinician who can see you.
- This cannot tell you why sex hurts for you. That needs a history, usually an examination, and sometimes tests.
- This does not recommend a lubricant, a cream or a treatment. What is appropriate depends on the cause, and some products make some conditions worse.
- This explanation was written by AskHer's editorial team from the guidance listed under Sources. A clinician registered in India has not signed this version off yet — that is why no clinical reviewer is named at the foot of this page, and it is why nothing here is a diagnosis.
Questions for your clinician
Take these with you. You can add any of them to an appointment card.
- The pain is here, it feels like this, and it started then. What does that suggest?
- Could this be an infection, dryness, or something structural?
- Could this be endometriosis?
- Is pelvic floor physiotherapy available, and would it help?
- Can we take the examination slowly, and can I ask you to stop?
When to seek help
Clinician-approved guidance for this topic. When in doubt, being seen is never the wrong choice.
Get help the same day
- pain during sex comes with fever, heavy bleeding or severe abdominal pain
- you are bleeding heavily after sex
- you are being hurt or forced — Tele-MANAS on 14416 is free at any hour, and you can tell a clinician
Book an appointment soon
- sex has hurt for months and you have never raised it
- the pain is getting worse
- it is affecting your relationship or making you avoid appointments
- it started after childbirth, surgery or an infection
Sources
The evidence this explanation is built on.
- Vaginismus NHS
- Vaginal dryness NHS
- Endometriosis NHS
- Tele-MANAS — national tele-mental health helpline, 14416 Ministry of Health and Family Welfare, Government of India
Who wrote and reviewed this
Every AskHer answer names its author. A clinically reviewed answer also names the clinician who signed it off — if no clinician is named below, it has not been clinically reviewed.
- Author
- AskHer Editorial AskHer's editorial team — not an individual clinician Works in English, தமிழ், हिन्दी
- Clinical reviewer
- Nobody yet No clinician has signed this answer off. That is what the “Editorially reviewed” badge means, and why it does not say “Clinically reviewed”. It was written and checked by AskHer’s editorial team against the sources listed above, and it is queued for a clinician who works in this area.
- Review status
- Editorially reviewed
- Last reviewed
- Last reviewed 27 August 2026
- Version
- 1
Correction history
Substantive changes are listed, not quietly edited away.
No corrections have been made since this answer was first published.
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