The short explanation
You have every right to insist on condoms, and to say no to any kind of sex you are not comfortable with. Wanting protection is not a sign of distrust; it is about caring for your health, protecting against sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancy. A partner who respects you should respect your choice. Repeated pressure, guilt-tripping or making you feel bad for saying no is a form of coercion. If it continues, it may be a sign that the relationship is not healthy. You can explain clearly, 'I only have sex with condoms,' and stand by that decision.
What depends on your situation
The parts of this that change from woman to woman. Uncertainty is stated, not hidden.
- If you both want to stop using condoms in future, a common approach is for both partners to get STI tests and use another reliable contraceptive method.
- If he removes a condom without your knowledge or forces sex, that is abuse, and you can seek help.
- Talking to a trusted friend, counsellor or doctor can help you think through what you want.
What this answer cannot determine
The boundary of online education. These need a clinician who can see you.
- This answer cannot judge your relationship fully. A counsellor can help you think through your situation.
Questions for your clinician
Take these with you. You can add any of them to an appointment card.
- Which contraception and STI tests are right for me?
- Where can I get confidential advice?
- How can I talk to my partner about this?
- Where can I get support if I feel pressured?
When to seek help
Clinician-approved guidance for this topic. When in doubt, being seen is never the wrong choice.
Emergency — call 112 now
- Call 112 if you are forced into sex or in danger.
Get help the same day
- Get care the same day if you had sex without a condom and need emergency contraception.
Book an appointment soon
- Talk to a counsellor or trusted person within a few days if pressure continues.
Raise it at a routine appointment
- Book a routine appointment for contraception and STI testing.
Sources
The evidence this explanation is built on.
- Sexually transmitted infections MedlinePlus (NIH)
- Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) World Health Organization
Who wrote and reviewed this
Every AskHer answer names its author. A clinically reviewed answer also names the clinician who signed it off — if no clinician is named below, it has not been clinically reviewed.
- Author
- AskHer Editorial (AI-assisted draft) AskHer's editorial team — not an individual clinician Works in English, தமிழ், हिन्दी
- Clinical reviewer
- Nobody yet No clinician has signed this answer off, and no person on the editorial team has read it yet. That is what the “Written with AI assistance” label means. It is queued for an editor to read, and then for a clinician who works in this area. The sources it was drafted against are listed above.
- Review status
- Written with AI assistance — not yet reviewed by a person
- Last reviewed
- Not yet reviewed by a person
- Version
- 1
Correction history
Substantive changes are listed, not quietly edited away.
No corrections have been made since this answer was first published.
Did this answer your question?
Whatever you choose is filed against this version of the answer, never against you, and it is never shown as a count.
“Explain more simply” asks you which part was hard to follow, so the author knows what to rewrite. “My question is different” opens a private follow-up with this answer attached.
Saving, following up and reporting are all private. Nothing you do on this page is visible to other readers or to the doctor who wrote it, unless you ask a question.