The short explanation
Start smaller than the appointment. Booking a telephone consultation, writing the first sentence down so you do not have to find it in the room, or asking to see a female clinician are all legitimate and all reduce the size of the thing you are avoiding. You can also say, as your opening line: ‘I find this hard to talk about.’ Clinicians hear it often and it usually changes the pace of the conversation.
What depends on your situation
The parts of this that change from woman to woman. Uncertainty is stated, not hidden.
- Avoidance is itself a symptom of anxiety and depression rather than a character failing, which is worth knowing because the self-criticism tends to make the next attempt harder. Taking somebody with you, or asking for a longer appointment, are both things you can request when booking.
What this answer cannot determine
The boundary of online education. These need a clinician who can see you.
- This cannot treat anything or replace the appointment. It is about getting to one, and it is not a substitute for being assessed by someone.
Questions for your clinician
Take these with you. You can add any of them to an appointment card.
- Can I have a longer appointment, or a telephone one first?
- Can I bring someone with me?
- Can I write things down rather than say them?
- What happens after this appointment — how long is the wait?
When to seek help
Clinician-approved guidance for this topic. When in doubt, being seen is never the wrong choice.
- If you are having thoughts of ending your life, do not wait for an appointment you are dreading. Contact a doctor, an emergency department or a helpline today — that route is open without an appointment.
Sources
The evidence this explanation is built on.
No sources recorded yet.
Who wrote and reviewed this
Every AskHer answer names its author. A clinically reviewed answer also names the clinician who signed it off — if no clinician is named below, it has not been clinically reviewed.
- Author
- AskHer Editorial AskHer's editorial team — not an individual clinician Works in English, தமிழ், हिन्दी
- Clinical reviewer
- Nobody yet No clinician has signed this answer off. That is what the “Editorially reviewed” badge means, and why it does not say “Clinically reviewed”. It was written and checked by AskHer’s editorial team, and it is queued for a clinician who works in this area. No sources are recorded against it yet.
- Review status
- Editorially reviewed
- Last reviewed
- Last reviewed 25 September 2026
- Version
- 1
Correction history
Substantive changes are listed, not quietly edited away.
No corrections have been made since this answer was first published.
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