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Saying it in the room, and what to do if you are not heard

The decision is yours to make with a clinician, which is not the same as being handed one.

Lesson 4 of 4

9 min Text

What this lesson says

  • Open with your constraint, not with a method name
  • Asking why a method was recommended for you is a reasonable question, not a challenge
  • You can say no, ask for time, and come back
  • Bring somebody if it helps, and ask them to wait outside for part of it if that helps more
  • Nothing here can tell you which method suits you; that needs your history and an examination

This is general education. It is not advice about your own situation, and it does not replace seeing a clinician.

Written lesson.
  1. 1. A short appointment goes better when you open with the constraint rather than the method. "I cannot rely on remembering something every day and I would rather my periods were lighter" gets you further in ten seconds than a method name does, because it tells the clinician what she is solving for.
  2. 2. If you are offered something, ask why that one for me. It is a reasonable question and a good clinician will answer it in a sentence: because of your blood pressure, because of the migraines, because you said you want a pregnancy in two years. If the answer does not connect to anything you said, say so.
  3. 3. You can decline, and you can ask for time. "I would like to think about it and come back" is a complete answer. So is asking for the information in writing, or asking what the second choice would be.
  4. 4. If you would rather be seen by a woman, ask when you book, and ask whether she is working at the time you are being offered — a yes to the first and a no to the second is the commonest way this goes wrong. If you bring somebody with you, you can also ask them to step out for part of the visit. Telling the clinician at the start that you would like a few minutes alone is an ordinary request and the simplest control you have over what your family hears.
  5. 5. If you leave with a method you did not want, or without one, that is not the end of it. You can go back, and you can go somewhere else. Women's health clinics, public facilities and private practices all provide contraception, and asking twice is not a failure of the first conversation so much as a normal part of a decision this personal.
  6. 6. Nothing in this course can tell you which method suits you. Which one is appropriate depends on your blood pressure, your history of migraine or clots, your other conditions and your other medicines, and none of that can be assessed from a description. The World Health Organization publishes medical eligibility criteria for contraceptive use precisely because the answer is individual, and FOGSI publishes its own recommendations for Indian practice.

All lessons in this course

  1. 1 Deciding what matters to you, before anybody offers you a method 10 min
  2. 2 Privacy, cost and actually getting hold of it 10 min
  3. 3 Switching, stopping, and what your cycle does next 11 min
  4. 4 Saying it in the room, and what to do if you are not heard 9 min Reading now

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