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Your mind after birth, and telling low days from something more

Common, treatable, and still one of the least discussed parts of having a baby.

Lesson 3 of 5

11 min Text

What this lesson says

  • A few days of tearfulness in the first week is very common and usually passes
  • Low mood that persists beyond two weeks, or that deepens, is a different thing and treatable
  • It is a recognised condition, not a failure of love or of character
  • Frightening intrusive thoughts are commoner than people believe and are worth saying out loud
  • Thoughts of harming yourself or the baby need help today, not at the next appointment

This is general education. It is not advice about your own situation, and it does not replace seeing a clinician.

Written lesson.
  1. 1. A stretch of tearfulness, irritability and feeling overwhelmed in the first week after a birth is very common. It generally arrives a few days in, lasts a few days, and passes. It is exhausting and it is not an illness.
  2. 2. What is different is low mood that continues past the first couple of weeks, or that gets deeper rather than lighter: persistent sadness, losing interest in things including the baby, being unable to sleep even when the baby does, appetite gone, guilt that will not shift, or a flat numbness where feeling should be. Anxiety is just as common a presentation as sadness, and in some people it is the only one — constant worry about the baby, checking, an inability to settle.
  3. 3. This is a recognised, common and treatable condition. It is not a verdict on how much you love your baby, it is not weakness, and it is not caused by anything you did. Treatment exists, it works, and it includes talking treatments as well as medication; some medicines can be used while feeding and that is a conversation to have rather than a reason not to ask.
  4. 4. Intrusive thoughts deserve their own paragraph because they frighten people into silence. Sudden, unwanted, vivid thoughts about something awful happening to the baby are far commoner than anybody admits, and in themselves they are a symptom of anxiety rather than an indication that you would act. Saying one out loud to a clinician is the fastest route to help, and clinicians hear them regularly.
  5. 5. Who to tell: your own clinician, the person doing the postnatal check, an ASHA or ANM worker, or any doctor you can reach. If you cannot face saying it, write it on a piece of paper and hand it over. Bring somebody who has noticed, if that is easier than describing it yourself.
  6. 6. Get help today rather than at the next appointment if you are having thoughts of harming yourself or the baby, if you feel unable to keep yourself or the baby safe, if you are hearing or seeing things others do not, or if your thinking has become confused. Those need urgent assessment, they are treated seriously and kindly, and asking for that help is not a risk to your family.

All lessons in this course

  1. 1 The first six weeks: what your body is doing 11 min
  2. 2 Feeding: what help exists, and what nobody tells you 11 min
  3. 3 Your mind after birth, and telling low days from something more 11 min Reading now
  4. 4 The postnatal check, and using it for yourself 9 min
  5. 5 When to get help quickly 8 min

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